Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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