u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm going to jail i love you
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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