then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
