You work out of a Hotel?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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