she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Panties = found
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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