that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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