Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
