What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
