Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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