I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
