That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
