trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
