I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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