Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
