Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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