Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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