in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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