none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
