I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
