She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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