I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
