I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
