paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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