eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
