R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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