So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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