Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
