LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
