Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
