is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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