i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
