My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
A bitchslap is in order.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
