i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
