how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
