I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My bed smells like the plague
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
