Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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