So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
