I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
