I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
