how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
