Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
