youre lurking in front of me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
