So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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