your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
