Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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