This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
