normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
