If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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