The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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