She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.