She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs