she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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