ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
