I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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