how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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