Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
