Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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