soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
