This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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