if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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