the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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