careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
His hands were made for my vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
