and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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