Please, let me fuck your mom
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
