My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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