the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
