Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
